Blogiquette (Author Edition)

Class, since I couldn’t be bothered to prepare for today’s post…have a POP QUIZ!

No talking!  Pencils ready!  Let’s see how much you know about authors on the internet!

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1. The Internet is for:
A) Publicity & Business
B) Socialization & Research
C) Harry Potter fanfiction
D) Porn

2. As an author, the following should be the primary focus of your blog:
A) Self-promotion
B) Craft/trade discussion
C) Crazy rants about buying your characters birthday gifts
D) lolcat pictures

3. Your author blog is made of:
A) A complex network of servers and code
B) Awesome
C) Fail
D) Tubes

4. The proper deity to invoke when involved in a blog debate about publishing is:
A) Shiva
B) Neil Gaiman
C) Loki
D) Internet Jesus

5. Negative personal details about you, the author’s life (divorce, bankruptcy, bad cover art) should be:
A) Kept private except for friends-locked or password-protected posts
B) My world contains only unicorns being ridden by sparkly leprechauns!
C) Kept private unless you accept the risk of alienating some readers
D) Used to emotionally blackmail readers into buying your next book

6. The proper response to a bad internet book review is:
A) Acknowledge it and move on
B) Sic your rabid fans on the reviewer
C) Weep like a woman
D) Drink

7. A good convention blog contains:
A) Con reports, pictures and general information that might be useful to future con attendees
B) Bitchery about everything that went wrong
C) As a serious author, I don’t have time for cons.  What are you, a furry?
D) Dozens of reports from other authors about how you got trashed and made out with some guy dressed like Jack Sparrow

8. The Hugos and Nebulas are:
A) Awards
B) Awards that your blog goes to great lengths to discredit, because you never actually won one.
C) Brazilian soccer teams
D) Villains from Doctor Who

9. A newbie author sends a question to your blog asking for advice on their manuscript.  You respond:
A) By private email, explaining why you can’t read their book
B) As if.  Don’t they know I’m a professional?
C) In blog comments so others can benefit from the questioner’s obvious idiocy
D) “STFU, n00b!!111!”

10. On your blog, you refer to your agent and your editor:
A) Favorably.
B) As “Dumb” and “Dumber”
C) PublishAmerica says they want to eat my soul!
D) When showing off the customized t-shirt of you, your agent and your editor’s face melded into one with Photoshop

BONUS!!

What is the proper animal to associate with blog drama?
A) Llama
B) Poodle
C) Kitteh
D) Badger