Hibernation Mode is what happens every time I get within a week or two of a deadline, even though I swear each time it won’t happen again.

Hibernation Mode means that there is nothing except the book. The book is god, and the book is love. Dishes go unwashed. Laundry goes unwashed. Hair goes unwashed. I eat out of boxes. I eschew the gym for huddling on my sofa with a cat or two and my laptop. I snarl at anyone who doesn’t exist in an instant messenger box and write notes to myself in my manuscript like WHY DOES THIS SUCK SO GODDAMN MUCH? FIX IT.

But none of this matters–not the aspartame poisoning, not the unruly hair, not the distinctly nervous looks the cats are giving me, as if I’ve become deranged. Because the book is god. And the book is love.

Also, I bought a Blackberry with my federal blood money (what didn’t go towards my bills), so now I literally never have to be away from my email. My Blackberry, which I have named Jarvis, is a sleek and responsive piece of technology. Jarvis is red, and Jarvis plays AC/DC as a ringtone. Jarvis is literally the perfect phone for someone who would inject the internet straight into their veins like crack if they had the choice. Which would be me.

I can surf the internet, too. And IM with people cool enough to have my phone number. And download music. I’m reasonably certain that if I actually had a robotic combat suit to fight crime, Jarvis would let me update my MySpace profile from inside of it.

Coming up after July 5th, when Hibernation Mode goes to Off–a Totally Subjective Review of Heart-Shaped Box, the saga of putting down flooring in my office, future book plans, and a long post of me answering inane questions that have nothing whatsoever to do with writing.

I wonder if Jarvis will let me blog from his sleek red interface…

Spell Bound (Nocturne City, Book 5)